This isn’t the first time that one of my friends have died, and every time something like this happens, I always end up thinking about the meaning of death and consequences of it. One thing I have always sort of struggled with is understanding that there is no right or wrong way to deal with death. I can never understand how sad I’m supposed to get. Like if I get really sad, I kind of don’t have the right to do that because it’s their death not mine, let’s say that I decide to be sad, I then get confused as to how sad I should be, but being happy around it also feels kind of like disregarding their memory. I know that I am over thinking this, I don’t need to be told that I should feel whatever I feel; because honestly all I feel is confusion. Just confused as to how I feel. Another thing that always gets me is forgetting that the person has died, because for me it confirms theories that I had while being suicidal. I understood that people would be sad that I did something like that